“Over time, the mere idea of being intimate started making me anxious, which just caused me to be even more uptight, and made things worse. I remember feeling that my body and my womanhood were betraying me.
Instead of being my rock through this, my ex-husband started pulling away. He was at work or out with his friends a lot, and really disconnected from our baby. He even asked one of the doctors if this was ‘all in my head.’ I get that he must have been frustrated — I was as well — but it felt like he just blamed and resented me for this problem. I ended up having a pelvic floor pain that I went to physical therapy to treat, but it was too late; we filed for divorce before we were ever intimate again. I loved my ex-husband very much, but I do feel sad that, in the end, sex (or lack thereof) was what split us.”—Anonymous
5.” My ex uninvited me from a family vacation and took his mom instead. Not so much as a call or a message the entire time — not even a check-in about our kids. I filed for divorce the next week and he is still wondering why.”
—Purpledoors3
6.” My ex and I were together for four years and engaged for two of those years. But a year and a half later, I moved in with her. The sex began to fizzle out. It was so bad that she wouldn’t even let me wrap my arms around her waist. She was much taller than me so that’s where my arms fell, but she would slide her arms inside mine and push them apart. I couldn’t spoon her and wrap my arm around her, she didn’t want to spoon me, I couldn’t touch her at all really because she was so uncomfortable in her own skin. I have a very high sex drive, and I always have, so it’s something that we talked about, and she even started using a testosterone analgesic to increase her sex drive. But she wouldn’t even let me touch her at all, because she had such terrible body dysmorphia. That was over a decade ago.”
9.” The moment I had to ‘adjust’ my boundaries constantly I felt I was with the wrong guy. The worst happened last year when after 11 years together, he decided to cheat with my niece who just turned 18 (I’m 30, btw). This isn’t the first time he’s cheated either. And that was only the beginning of the decline. With all the manipulation, the psychological trauma, the psychological abuse, I would never wish that on anyone in my right mind, not even his mistresses. I want divorce (we’re in the Philippines)Tags:I wish our country had divorce (we’re in the Philippines). We’re still together.”
10.” He wanted to start and drive. He never warmed the engine before driving. At times it was fun and interesting, but he was mostly drunk. He also suffered from premature ejaculation, so he was finished in three to five minutes and never cared whether I was OK or satisfied. He’d roll over or go wash up, come back and fall asleep. I get in touch with him but he told me this was sensitive. I do agree, but it won’t last if I don’t let you know what I want or need. He was selfish in other matters as well, so we don’t talk anymore, but his selfishness in bed was a big reason the relationship was over.”
—Fany, 40
11.” He was polyamorous — as in, actually dating other people — but he would get super upset and jealous when I would hug my friends.”
12.” There was a ton of crap, but this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. One night when he was out late with friends, I locked the door before going to bed. He had lost his keys and never thought to tell me, so somehow that was my fault. He got up and pounded on the window, and after I opened the window, he started yelling at me and throwing stuff. He said I need to pack my stuff and leave and locked me out of the bedroom. I slept on the couch. The following morning, he pretended nothing had happened. “I missed that day because I didn’t feel safe anymore.”
13.” My now ex-wife began a fight with me one morning on my way to a childhood friend’s funeral. I asked if she could not do this now. ‘Oh boo hoo,’ she replied. That was where the beginning of the end.”
14.” My ex-boyfriend published a list of 10 things that upset him about his mom waking him over the phone at 10 a.m. So after the call he punched a hole in his door, threw his phone at the window, woke me up forcefully, yelled at me to buy a new door so his parents wouldn’t kick him out.”
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